A valley town in the early '50s
"Will I have got everything?" He asked nervously, turning from side to side of the room "that are stupid! Of course I did not take all, how would I do? ' certain that she was sorry for everything left. But he had to choose. If you go, experience a freedom that was very similar to loneliness - and vice versa. So he could not continue, he thought. The scene of last night: nasty. Even in the worst families going to see someone mortified and humiliated in this way. But that, had they asked you? To devote to her child? And why! "I bet that some orphanages are warmer this Casaccia cursed with this fucking whore ... I weighed the crumbs that gives me."
putting, as is done mechanically, his hands in his jacket pocket he found a note he knew well: the address of the aunt Italy. ricopiarselo She managed to secretly, perhaps, in his haste, had also copied wrong. What few certainties was "How strange to call Italy. There will also be those who called France, England and Germany. "Strange but liked though. "We hope that this one is at least sympathetic, if not good. Ah, no, damn, it MUST be good!"
He felt sick at the thought of what little money he had: he had to find a place to sleep and eat. On the other hand there were very few because he had never received money from anyone without a home a few pounds from a relative, just to look good. If he could find work, such as those that wash the floors in the buildings, or clothes in fountains, maybe with ice water ... "But then who employs such a little? But I say, indeed, most are small They pay less and you need to do, we just hope to find her aunt. Aunt Italy.
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PART ONE: THE ZIA ITALY
1. sects. At this winter's already dark and cold. Announcing the time the bell tower of a nearby church "certainly Carmini" said Italy with the small satisfaction of being able to recognize the city and its churches. His area. He had done everything to come back, just about anything, had snatched the children from hands (pats) of parents, uncles, grandparents, who did not want to break up the family. Already mourning was great, not another tear Add to this, "But Italy, though sensitive and able to feel the pain of others, had proved decisive and firm. He wanted to go home, he could not give up his dream. The more desperate was the eldest daughter, aged 15, who had been with the agony in my heart, be torn from its environment, school, friendships. But then it was impossible for Italy to continue living in the midst of everything that reminded him, lost her husband in the midst of the people among whom he still felt strange after so many years. Good people, but needed her people of his home, his city. He had left everything to marry, but in that case there was love for her husband Francis, a handsome man, his type. High (she was tiny), with beautiful mustache, beautiful expressive eyes, and distinguished, educated, made her feel like a lady, she was rather modest extraction. He lived as a young man in a poor area of \u200b\u200bthe city: street children in dirty and always stracciati.le botteghette vicne home where everyone knew her. The Salts & Tobacco Brando. In short, he loved the place, even if poor: there was life, he could never live in the country, with all that silence, but even in the suburbs where she lived with her family when her husband was yet in the world. She liked then go to the poultry sellers where if was okay once a week, you could have boiled the feet and cockscomb, or, on the street corner, for children who sold the cart crusts of black bread or, school, the chestnut. In the stalls of fruit and vegetables Bocia bolder could grab a carrot or a little more, or the Fruttarol generous grant himself a "naransa (or Pometo) macadèa, almost running, but that could be recovered with an expert stroke of the knife. The district is a wide highway flanked by narrow for housing reduced. On the banks of the nearby river with overflowing baskets, went to family or women who were hired laundresses a generous laundry: chilblains and cold water for most of the year.
With many thoughts and Mago that take your breath away, then arrived in Piazza Mazzini Italy with all its trinkets that made her take on the appearance of a poor immigrant: above all, a massive object was a significant show self among its tangled luggage caliero the polenta. That said, the long, not only on their tastes at the table, but especially on modest diet who were preparing to do in the near future. Suddenly the caliero, as if he would stand aside (this was typical of Italy personification of objects, sometimes even coming to insult) the first shot accidentally fell noisily and conspicuously on the ground, inevitably attracting the attention of many passers-by who also had to step aside or risk being overwhelmed. Great bunch of spoiled little family except for the youngest child, who was amused rather like mad. And luckily it was Carnival, so the noise and the noise drowned the noise part.
2 . And where were going? This tiny little family unfortunately had to go? Nothing for sure, but you know, including relatives, friends, and then in the city ... In short, a little 'thoughtlessly proceeded to the semi-blind, but not too much was really true that you are among friends aiutava.Suo brother Piero had recently married: for some time past the age to marry, but too timid and park to search for his partner in one of those places used for such purpose, he turned to a newspaper that published ads for "meetings" as they were chuiamati at that time. Without enthusiasm, accaso with a young lady a bit 'elderly, not beautiful, but the air circulation and able to administer a little money of her husband, joining the more substantial his loot.
Thus, Piero when he learned that his sister lost her husband, longed to return to his city, at once, it seemed quite natural, offered a temporary arrangement with his sister and three grandchildren, secure (ahi!) that the wife would have nothing fresh to object. After all were close relatives, Italy was his sorella.Ma you know, in this world not everyone thinks the same way and that for some it is a natural act of generosity to others is a shameful abuse of power, and who will live there together well to take into account that pulls air. The fresh bride of Piero, who unfortunately in those days was just out of town on business, the return would not hear of accommodating the four fugitives, and only when her husband found a glimmer of virile power, threatened to leave him with his sister, so as not to leave her alone, relented and agreed. Although few, the money her husband had their weight. It was agreed that the "guests" would have set all four to a room with a single bed and there were, it is true the other two rooms, but it was necessary to keep them both in the event that guests always free. That never came.
Azia L L ina
3. It was a very difficult time. Living with bad people and unscrupulous behavior and fosters forced and confused. Italy was to remain there because they had nowhere else to go. She seemed to beg for that bit of generosity of which she and the children had an absolute need to ask for a loaf of bread to survive, but Aunt Lina was not really able to hear, much less manifest. The wound felt the most excruciating Aunt "from the portfolio, although his wealthy, he suffered every time he was forced to think about the little money he had to give" grants "to those four leeches. But who was doing worse, it was said, was Italy, fought between the fake kindness and gratitude, and desire, on the contrary, to slap his sister in law that made her desperate for a glass of water that gave the children.
Italy was in the kitchen one morning and the children in the garden, suddenly came to her ear a noise like someone was beating her hands, and thought a nice game .. but when I looked out the balcony and saw Lina who slapped his fat little hands vigorously daughter of four years. "You know you should not touch the flowers!" Lina said to mo 'explanation "must learn to be obedient!" Italy did not see us anymore. Ran down the stairs, grabbed the child while continuing to cover the sister of all kinds of insults, while before his eyes when they passed the last few months, Day after day he had to endure a whole series of nasty and rude. Picked up in a jiffy or the few rags that made up his luggage, he managed to contact a neighbor whose husband gave to hire a horse and cart, and deliberately leave without news of his destination, he went at night with their children, leaving his brother, who in those days was out of town, ignorant and desperate.
D inuovoincitt à
4. S tanks, hungry, without money or prospects, with the bad luck that seemed to haunt them, arrived in an attic that a friend had made available, even if small: they had to be there in four. Yet, without even knowing it, in this unfortunate situation that anyone would call, were preparing to spend the happiest time of their lives. Great and wonderful was the feeling of freedom that gave them all the absence of the terrible aunt. Since all four be living together, surrounded only by love and generosity, it turned out the better side of their character, influenced by Italy, manifested itself in the desire to live in joy, laughing about everything that happened. The kitchen was very small (my aunt cooked on a burner set on a tiny ledge that attic)? better that way: you could set the table being all seated! One evening for dinner they had prepared a nice big pot of soup and they were already looking forward to when, stumbling on a tile floor of her aunt dropped and rolled down the staircase: the entire contents down the steps and farewell dinner! But instead of taking it, they laughed throughout the evening. Not to mention the tricks that put in place in the evening at bedtime, without a shadow of heating, although a ceiling was a cold that did not freeze the water in the jug. Who put blankets and coats, who opened an old suitcase and used a mo 'and the deck .. to any "invention" a new laugh.
And so, Italy's aunt found the city. It was a pleasure to meet you in the middle of busy people, the urchins, playing "Cuco" or "pot May, clinging to her skirts to avoid being seen. Even his children are having a world running out of breath in the arcades that flank the narrow streets. Every so often the sound of slippers was accompanied by some stroke of urletto pain when it happened that someone stumbling, Shell one knee. But get up now: it was a matter of dignity: "Fate noffink," she said and ran away again. Meanwhile, just settled a bit ', everyone gave him a do to "take up" the family and the son wanted to continue studying and also working as an apprentice in an office; Italy, who was never tired, he began to mend and wash the uniforms of soldiers in the barracks. The small, six years, did everything to avoid going to school do not feel at ease, she felt inferior to her classmates, always well dressed and flirt. No, it was not for her. It was much more readily at home, to "help" the mother to do the laundry, a task that she liked very much. Or to pet the cat Minnina. It is said that this kitten, old and shabby, someone had secretly taken to bring the child to die far from home. How many tears, and despair! But a few days time Minnina here that, in poor condition, but overall safe and sound, appeared on the sill of the attic from the rooftop: just imagine the delight of all, especially of his mistress! Another event to celebrate.
PART TWO - EMMA
5 . We left only the poor Emma in a lot of trouble, and we no longer know anything. Had fled in desperation after having lived for years with a cold and shrewish woman who, according to him, cared for her lovingly. Only Emma knew the truth, his sadistic pleasure in tormenting others, humiliating, having them go through liars and dishonest. The people who attended the family had, indeed, in great sympathy, but as they say, "everyone has their own character" and, thanks to his lies and fictions, it seemed worse than many others.
So Emma, \u200b\u200bafter so many sufferings, as we have seen, at the age of Tredicina years had decided to flee. It was not easy. The aunt, who also hated him, he would readily agreed to let her go, for pure evil. It would not be was glad to see her granddaughter happy and settled, let alone, but had not even able to liberate, not to torment her more: he would need a new victim. However, Emma did not want to think about this. She was determined to leave. To go where? did not know well. But he had decided to take a few days time to think calmly. It had neither a house nor a room, so the only option was to settle down outside in the park not far from the house of her aunt, as the winter was almost over and it was not cold. So he chose the best bench in the elegant public garden, a place mostly nannies with prams and young couples, and we settled with his poor rags. Every so often, to feel less lonely and cold, opened the collar of his coat and breathed the warm air coming from his own body and clothes. Despite the difficulties he had to wash, he knew good.
Leaving the house of her aunt had taken to sneak something to eat, but now she had nothing: she had to move, look for a place where he could find a job to eat, to survive. He started on the road.
He was only as a lifeline, the note that was found in his pocket at the time of escape and where it was written, as we know, the name and address of the aunt that she did not know, but he felt he could go to in case of need and was called Italy. But he had not looked at the ticket from the day he left home, so it was only after a long way toward the center of the city that she realized that the note did not say the name. Strangely it was not noticed before. Well, there was always the address, the street. But this proved wrong. There was "way Christ", would also have been an oddity and she began to daydream of Cristina ..., Christian, Christian Saint ... but all in vain. The address seemed nonexistent, even passers-by knew him
This big difficulties met before starting his new life, the demoralized a lot 'and for a few days, swollen feet and shoes disaster (more than an empty stomach) seemed to want to give up.
But soon realized that it made no sense to remain committed, and got busy. The alternative was to go back! Did he return from his aunt Lina? This spurred to give himself to the thought.
6. not sure we'll be here to describe what was his life from 13 years onwards, for nothing, even if with a strong character and two strong arms ready for the job. Laundress, a cook (well, kitchen maid, dishwasher short), it was the work most often, but often prove to be too heavy or low-paid and that she left in that case. He came to move to the countryside, an environment totally unknown to her, but that it offered some improvement, both in terms of accommodation for the night (he slept with other workers in a large room "mixed" the straw, but was at least covered) for the food, to take care of the owners directly (and you could see by the scarcity of rations). Compensation for the work camps were very harsh: accommodation of animals, gathering fruit, olives, grapes, depending on the season, and so on. We can say that experienced any type of work, any kind of physical and social environment, in short, of humanity, sometimes benevolent, sometimes ruthless. He met the love.
7. In an environment where there seemed no room for tenderness, he knew the pleasure that can give a body with its warmth and its thrills. The boy was very young, like her, and he also his first experience. It was during the campaign period. For several days they exchanged looks intense and troubled, and one of the following nights the young man quietly approached her and sat down by him. She greeted him with pleasure. Strangely she was not afraid, despite not having the slightest idea what he was about to happen. He put his hands up under her shirt to caress her breasts and nipples, something that caused a shiver of pleasure. She wanted him to understand, not to mention, that was dismissed, not at all, so slowly opened her legs, took his hand and let him do, even brought his hands to himself. Behaves according to instinct, in short, without any "preparation." He had heard many times about love, he knew it was concern for the physical contact between two people, but what constituted no one had ever said or she had had to ask. When she finally felt scroll her in something warm and wet, he thought that that was the sweetest moment of his life and happy.
But we're not talking about the Marinella De André, all sighs, moon and dreams. And mysteries. Here we talk about a real girl, with the desire to plan and improve as it was possible that life. So, after a few weeks since that night, he decided to talk seriously with the boy and declared their intention to leave in search of a better system. It was hard fought in this respect: among them had established a loving relationship. But she really, as this seems implausible, it was an ambitious person, with programs - But undefined - for the future, and he knew that if he did something to give it up, he would regret. He wanted to follow her, but she was sure that life for which you did not agree with what he had in mind: in essence, he would be well to make the laborer's life forever.
But the last day before leaving her, almost to speed, something terrible happened to her and to her inconceivable. For some time she realized the intense gaze and suggestive of a man, a worker who is not too young, she had heard that the intention to leave the next day, he wanted to try to put their hands on. It was already dark and all the workers, exhausted, slept. Emma went out to go to the latrine, and the return saw the man coming towards her, looking defiant, perhaps drunk, perhaps. When he grabbed her by the dress she heard no noise, no, no words (and in fact he moved as quietly as possible not to be heard), but it was as if he felt the same and clearly these words in her: "Thou enjoyed these days, right? why not try two of us? If you have and you liked to be with him, you say? " All wriggling and trying to scream at the end he managed to escape. But he could not stay. any longer: if the boy had seen her he wanted to go to the police, do something well, to show he could count on him. But it was just what she wanted: she feared that if he had not run away now would be able to do this again. So at night, sobbing in despair, gave a farewell in his heart to his love and went back by herself to meet his destiny.
For some years his life proceeded as follows: a job after the other with a preference for work inside homes, since you a happy home and a family had never had them. There were a landlord who demanded too much from her, others who treated her like a rag and you, for charity, verbal violence and humiliation he had suffered as a child too many. In quescasi be dismissed: a question of dignity. Again we saw his strength of character uncommon: he did not hesitate a moment, helped by the fact that in this period of economic recovery there was always the most popular of the "home", the "maid" are hallmarks of a certain social welfare. And she, with her hands that had worked the land, spalatoscaricato boxes from store within a few weeks became a waitress "up." the
C Lelia
8 . In those years he met a person who would have been so important in his life: his name Clelia, a lady was about fifty-sixty years, a scholar of foreign languages \u200b\u200bwho lived alone (the children were already grown) and separated from her husband. Emma liked it immediately: she thought that in future he wanted to be like her still beautiful, elegant, distinguished, but what I valued the most were the moral qualities that are sensed by observing how they moved and spoke as: respectful of others' ideas, quiet, nice to everyone. His easy-going nature meant that he had several friends who received at home or invited her out. A want to be picky, you might notice a certain formality that did not always be relaxed and at ease, but even a little 'plaster' and 'as if had prescribed a code of conduct, which, however, who stood beside her was exempt. In short, she liked that her house was lively and frequented by free spirits, though personally free her did not seem to be so much. But evidently it was pay as he placed his own life.
studies which he devoted himself As already mentioned, the language, even a bit 'all languages \u200b\u200bstudied how they are made, they were at one time and as they continue to change under the our eyes, so to speak. And the days worked at home, when reading or studying, perhaps accompanied by some 'music, Emma could not, sometimes, to conceal the curiosity about his cards, while remaining at a safe distance to not look intrusive. But one day things changed. It all began in beautiful bright colors from the living room with sofa and comfortable armchairs that evoked subsidence between their cuscini.e torpor of the afternoon. Clelia, was working with air-lazy (in the spring had arrived), and not be weary too, who knows, maybe you want a break. Emma was arranging books on the library in the order given to you earlier. All of a sudden, without ceremony (although it was in the house a few days) asked if she could prepare a tea. "I'm afraid it gets too warm for tea steaming" he replied smiling: "I would say better than a good cup of coffee, thanks. But only if you let me company." A little 'embarrassed to answer, but decided not to lose that opportunity. He did his best to show relaxed and sure of herself, but around a bit 'on the tray of coffee before then even on the couch ("Clean it with a bit' of water, do not worry"), but finally accepted the invitation of Clelia to sit next to her.
For good education, but also because curious by nature, he wanted to inform on maps, brochures and other material that was on the table. The churches, like the first question, why were so many languages \u200b\u200bspoken in the world. The disarming simplicity of the application. Clelia made her smile, but was careful not to torment you.
Emma Indeed, although very little intelligent educated, had managed to build a culture, certainly modest, but not quite so poor as you would expect from a girl of little more than two decades, self-taught so to speak . And Mrs. Clelia that he understood, he also understood that the demand for Emma was less trivial than it seemed. In fact, do not ask why were so many different languages, but as no one had thought more in some ways to unify them in part and thus reduce in number, "And you" Clelia asked "would you be willing to give up your language and talk another mandatory? And who should decide which languages \u200b\u200bto keep and which to throw away? Languages \u200b\u200bare an asset, remember. In them there is the history of every people. "Thus, between sips of coffee and a biscuit and stop by during an hour of housework, Emma received a first lesson from the 'eminent linguist," as she calls it "in pectore. "Clelia and began a more spontaneous and relaxed with that girl reliable and discreet.
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8. a But we a brief digression to look for Italy, which seems to have disappeared. And in fact, at the moment, 8assente by our story and the life of Emma that, in his heart, had decided to forget about it. But it was his relative, the only one that she probably had. Maybe even a good kind and friendly. Too bad, but had neither the time nor the means to do research. Who knows. Maybe later ... In fact, if we had the magic power to rise up to fly high on people's heads, also follow the move, we would see that Italy several times and Emma crossed, or are missing for a while. A kind of hide and seek involuntary, with the difference that for years looked for Emma, \u200b\u200bwhile Italy was totally unaware of being searched.
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9. A sometimes happens that an argument, start a discussion without clashing and without arousing too much interest among the bystanders, but then, with time and rebuild without knowing how, that debate ends up itself as the most interesting debate of the moment.
The argument concerned the family, and was the most suitable environment, thanks to all who Clelia 'onomastic had devoted many studies in the past. A friend quoted the maiden name of his mother who was a variant of the surname of Clelia: one of those threads that are usually readily replaced by arguments more "fertile". But this time things went differently: Crivelli it was also the maiden name of mother of Emma and this made the discussion more interesting. Doing that will also involve assumptions that, however, Emma tried to keep to one side (after all, was a waitress) at the end it was decided that the next day Emma and Clelia registry office of the town would go to check what had emerged during the evening.
Unfortunately, the track turned out to be wrong and, metaphorically speaking, Emma found herself alone in the world.
After a while 'though. years as if they were not thinking of her, she remembered her aunt Lina. What a nightmare! ! after all she was her cousin! She thought of all the old memories that evoked the name. Mortification, humiliation, failure to understand the arguments of others. But, still thinking about it, ended up removing them that aura of "evil" that now Emma was able to turn a banal "bad character"
He wanted to learn more. Comune.Dopo returned in half an hour search, he found it. But he was dead! Almost three years ago. What a disappointment! And now, who would help to know the reality? At least there was a picture! He decided to ask the clerk. "Young lady, but she has no idea how much it would cost to put a picture for each person?" It felt almost stupid, but insisted: "What can I do to find a photograph of a dead relative of mine for years? "" You can try the cemetery, that is certainly the right place. Often there is a picture on the graves of the dead. You should mention ... well, wait here and in this I can help myself. "Needed to know in which cemetery he was buried. In short, over half a day was able to find the simple grave of her aunt. But it was cute and nice a young man in that picture! Nice! Aunt Lina Sure, if he had sempe that beautiful expression, that smile, it was always nice. He began to think about what event, if it existed, had changed its character.
So from that morning, a new thought occupied the mind: Read more about Aunt Lina and her life. Suddenly he was taken by a new state of mind, never tried before. He felt understanding and compassion for that woman. He thought, Aunt Lina mistreated, without a reason, but was it not you, Emma, \u200b\u200ba little 'too whiny and most susceptible?.
also changed, ways of thinking. He began to see his life, past and present, as a time not empty and bleak, but is rich in opportunities for knowledge of events, people and things. He no longer thought to feel unable to give meaning to his life: his life had a sense there already. But we must not misunderstand me: is that it suddenly felt to be Mother Teresa of Calcutta, he felt born to "do good to others", but to learn. And without ever having heard of Ulysses of Dante .. After all, even if at first glance it seemed, there was a similarity between these new thoughts and studies Clelia: this new way of looking at life using a "scientific method" had probably learned from her own.
10 . A few days after these events, Emma, \u200b\u200bon her way to spending, he saw unknown car in front of the house. It is a bit curious, 'because usually friends and colleagues were in the house of Clelia sera.più of the afternoon. Entering, he saw a lady dressed modestly, yet with a certain elegance. In particular he was struck by a simple pin, perhaps silver, dall''aspetto a medallion. It was to hold a white scarf, apparently of silk, very elegant in its simplicity. He had a ready smile and friendly face. She was with her a beautiful girl with dark hair and expressive eyes, the apparent age of fifteen years. Clelia, with his usual habit democratic, thought Emma, \u200b\u200bthe two women wanted to present "Meet the lady and Miss Crivelli said, looking, well, mischievous, a bit surprised that 'Emma. "The lady's name before marriage Callegari family name, and now, a number of years lived near Via Bartolomeo Cristofori" .
Emma was confused. All names Clelia threw them, so to speak, his face had not entirely new but did not know, so at once, place them in the appropriate spaces of his memory. This took on a quizzical, as if to say "because I do all this mess?" Clelia And, as if he understood his thinking, he said, did not you say you were looking for a way beginning with Christ or something like that? And do not you think that way Bartolomeo Cristofori would be okay? "A moment of disorientation and even then Emma said:" Italy! Aunt Italy! yes I remember is that the ticket that you could not understand anything! But is she ..? or at least know her? "" I'm expensive, but call me aunt, since we finally found and that we are family! "
leave aside, for now, the" map "of relationships . Instead it is more interesting to observe the expression of happiness in knowing a cousin Emma, \u200b\u200bwhat's so beautiful and nice and more or less her age. It called Mary, and she liked that too.
EPILOGUE
But how much to tell! how much chatter! Aunt Italy, then, was very good and made everyone laugh with the stories of the attic. The most surprising thing was to know that Aunt Italy did not even suspect the existence of his niece, the daughter of a distant cousin whom they had long since gone missing. And he also spoke of Aunt Lina and his "misdeeds", with some benevolence, however (as happened to Emma) because it was dead and the dead "all is forgiven." Italy aunt's words. But also because he had seen in the last moments of his life was much softened by the disease, so that if he heard her sister in law to disclose the secret that had marked his life: his sister Leonora, younger, more defiant of her, had stolen her boyfriend on the eve of the wedding. This double betrayal shook her up so that boyfriends did not want to hear about it. Then several years later she met and married Peter, a good man and caring, but it was too late: his character had become soured, and she was too old to have children, which would have coveted. D and children! Aunt Lina! but if he could not bear children! People need to know them well before you judge them, "said Emma to herself, she saw it confirmed its new program for life, say.
was dawn. every one was asleep, aided by fresh providentially through the window half-open after the sultry night. The fresh breeze past the tents made her sway with large movements, winding to ensure that gave the viewer the impression of being rocking.
Emma awoke to a strong gust of air that gently touches the body semiscoperto. Within minutes he was wide awake, despite the sky still dark, inviting a resumption of sleep. But he had too many thing to do, or rather to think in particular about what had happened the day before and that comes to mind with sweet arrogance. And, if invited, I think the most important events of his life: the people I met, Lorenzo ... his first and only love. Think back to how laaccarezzava, how he loved his body, that body that you now stretches stretching between fresh sheets smelling of lavender.
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